Happiness with tofu and olive oil

They came shooting at my place today. A thing about happiness. Of all places, of all people. Me...
My take on happiness is kinda off track though, but not that original, for I am neither the first nor the last of the Mohican to try to get away from it all.
As I wrote before here and elsewhere, I am rather kinda social guy, but as I found out today, even though my best and happiest moments in life were in the surrounding of people, I am not about to make any more compromise to be surrounded by people. We must act on this unhappily situation that is our world. My way of protesting in not to throw bombs. It is neither to try to preach. I've been there, done that. Tired of it.
Anyhow, how could I be a candidate to speak about happiness, seemingly so frustrated. Well I am not. One of the thing I came up with while being asked about happiness is this idea of being in tune with oneself, aligned to one's inner self in what one is doing. Although my current situation is kinda crazy for some it is no more than what I consider to be crazy lifestyles out there, ever running after one's tail like a puppy dog. Furthermore I feel quite uncomfortable with the very word "happiness". As I said in there, I'd rather talk about serenity which is a notion closer to my heart and feelings. Serenity as I see it is a base on which you can build up. Now to have serenity you have to be in tune with yourself. Nothing much ado with happiness. Happiness is usually short lived, linked to a particular event that - once vanished - brings the tail of happiness with it, like the tail of a comet. It lasts for a while but it disappears at some point. Not to say that it does not show up again and again, but happiness is like a brush fire whereas serenity is bedrock.

◊ ◊ ◊
I think on that very subject matter, British movie director Michael Apted has achieved one of the most important contribution in the form of a documentary started in 1964. I talk about "42 up", the latest increment of a series that follows a dozen or so british kids from age 7 on from different social background and how they grew up to become what they are today. The first of the series I saw was "28 up", back in 1986. It is a must see if you have not seen it. You may go on this site to read the reviews about this unique documentary. After all it's all about happiness. The fellow who came to my place today has another angle which I think is very good too.

Recipe
Tonight I tried something. I cut a quarter brick of tofu in cubes, added up taboulé (you know this parsley salad recipe from Syria and Lebanon), added a little spice, got that in a pan on the burner, simmering covered with a good amount of olive oil. A treat.

Sky: “Hey man, wanna snowjob?”Guy: “It's up to you. It's down to me.”

^{Ice crystals reflected by the sun, La Patrie. January 2006}

Winter as it comes to an end
its last-ditch struggle thus begins
sending down from its den
that it forgot before to send

In a forthnight shall we say
white powder came our way
Blinding us all, yes sir
as the sun was shining blurred

Not a moment too soon
Indeed well before noon
shovels tricked out the sudden sway
not without contempt and dismay

Today in history...

^{Petition for bail from accused witches, ca. 1692.
John Davis Batchelder Autograph Collection/Library of Congress}

Was it the witchcraft trials of Salem that was beginning 314 years ago (284 years then) that made me take that decision?

^{Glenn Miller for a Chesterfield ad.}
Was it the news concerning Glenn Miller's contract that he signed in 1941 for three 15 minutes shows a week for a mere 4850 $ per week, sponsored by Chesterfield cigarettes?

^{Poster published by the Hunterdon County Democrat}
Was it the kidnapping of Charles Lindbergh's child in 1932? In any event, 30 years ago I decided not to go to college* Has this decision changed the course of history! Certainly not! But for my personal life, surely. Except that I would have to go back and start again to see how it would have done so which is hardly my intention even if it would be feasible.
That decision was probably the first one I took that kept me sleepless for a while. Yet the last year of high school for me (1975-1976) was awful for many reasons, mainly because there was a work conflict between the teachers and the Ministry of Education poisoning the whole atmosphere. I really did not wish to pursue the torture.
However curiosity has always been part of my life, thirst for knowledge, but school was not delivering: too little and too slow. That last year I really felt I was at the kindergarten.

^{Autumn by Archimbaldo, 1573}
I really thought my brain was becoming a big vegetable.
Therefore it has been from then on the school of life that would attract me. I had to speed up the process in any way. I couldn't careless about what I was missing by not going to CEGEP and rather was interested by what I was gaining outside of the school system. That very decision certainly represents the most important and hypothetically I would take the same path again. In fact if I was able not to become a dropout altogether, it had to do with all these activities I had within the school and out of its walls. I was doing radio programs at school, I was a member of the student council. I had friends of boths sexes with whom I had a great time. Nothing to complain. But the school curriculum was boring and very low level.
I was not to spend another two years at wasting my time in a college, especially after I heard a guy in a documentary on TV saying: "The CEGEP is the continuity of the disgusting high school". He above anything and anyone had the final word.
Would I have a better situation today have I gone? I'll never know about it because I did not want any of it then. And now. That being said, I ain't no proud of myself. I feel shameful not to have achieve much so far and I am the meanest critic of myself. It is a never ending crisis, for I feel I only give a little percentage of my capacities. What I did not realize is that it's now 6:00 pm and the Complaints Office is closed.

« Inequity undermines cooperation [...] if you create high level of inequity, the subordinates lose interest in cooperating, for obvious reason: they are not getting enough out of it. » - Frans de Waal, author of Our Inner Ape - The best and the worst in human nature, in an interview to the british magazine Granta which publishes the book.

* Yet I went back to school and finally got a BA...
To be continued...